I Am a Bird
I have wings, I need to fly
I Am a Bird I am a bird, my flesh is torn My beak is bored, nothing to explore Don’t let me die, die, die, die in this cage I am a bird, I have wings I have instincts, I’m supposed to sing I need to fly, fly, fly, fly from this cage Tell me people when you die do you want to be an eagle Soaring free above the trees Resting on a branch in the sun I am a bird, through window blinds I see birds glide, and climb up the sky Look in my eyes and tell me why, why am I in this cage Tell me people when you die do you want to be an eagle Soaring free above the trees Resting on a branch in the sun Or tell me people when you die do you want to come back as me Pulling feathers from your skin Wishing for a branch in the sun I am a bird, I have wings You have the key, unlock me please Oh let me fly, fly, fly away from this cage Please
Sad song, sad story, but if you keep reading there is a branch in the sun midway through to rest on.
It was many years ago in another state and I was doing some interior painting at a house that felt terribly depressing in so many ways. It was dark and dirty; all of the curtains were closed and the weight of neglect clung to everything.
Looking back I think she was a pink parakeet, but it was hard to tell because she had pulled out most of her feathers. I would greet her in the morning and open curtains. I told her I was sorry. I sang to her. I ate lunch by her side. I smiled and said see you tomorrow. And then after 4 days, the job was done and I never saw her again.
The thought of this lonely bird still grieves me to this day. I wonder why do humans not see themselves in other beings? How can we not feel the loneliness and suffering radiating off of another being? How can we think it is okay to put any being in a cage?I ask myself, why, why, why did I not offer to adopt this sad and suffering bird? I was young, ignorant, and on the move, but maybe I could have found an appropriate place for this bird to heal and be loved.
Wings. Once in a while I have flying dreams. My favorite one was flying above a wilderness of trees, mountains, and a river. At one point I felt the tip of an evergreen tickle my tummy. It was so vivid that I wondered, was this a dream or was it a memory of another life long ago?
To be deprived of the ability and the joy of flying must feel like a suffocation of the soul. Wide open sky versus a cage just big enough to open wings…. what would be your choice?
According to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals):
Life in captivity is often a death sentence for birds, who may suffer from malnutrition, an improper environment, loneliness, and the stress of confinement. Birds are meant to fly and be with others of their own kind in a natural environment. Being in cages causes birds to have claustrophobic fits and mood swings.
Humans resell, give away, or abandon about 85 percent of parrots within two years of purchase.
Here’s that branch in the sun. A friend of mine, after listening to “I Am a Bird,” told me about a story she had just read about a bird rescue and sanctuary in Los Angeles called Serenity Park, where parrots with PTSD and veterans with PTSD help one another to heal and to thrive. Veterans are trained to care for the parrots in large outdoor aviaries. Serenity Park describes their mission this way:
What a glorious existence to be a parrot! Is there anything more liberating than the ability to fly? More exhilarating than to see in vivid color? Or more fulfilling than living in a large extended family being groomed daily? Perhaps more important, being a parrot means access to the greatest selection of the world’s most delicious and varied foods foraged throughout the day. This is, indeed, the life of a parrot in the wild – at Serenity Park we try to duplicate the ideal life knowing we can never give them exactly what they need – freedom.
The Serenity Park program serves as an oasis for abandoned, abused, neglected or family-relinquished parrots in need of a forever home. Here these often-traumatized parrots meet combat veterans who also experienced trauma. It is through this common bond that a mutual path of healing occurs. Too many veterans carry trauma after their service and too many parrots suffer in solitary confinement in tiny cages for the duration of their life in captivity. Sharing this common bond, the parrots and veterans have a mutual understanding of each other.
There are so many people doing such good work to rehabilitate wild and pet birds. But the truth is, the exotic bird trade is a huge detriment to the well-being of these fabulous flying feathered beings. It is simply best not to buy birds. However, there are situations when adopting a bird is the only option to help save a bird. Access to large outdoor cages where birds can be with one another with plenty of attention and care from people is ideal for birds who cannot be released back into the wild or for birds who are injured.
Here are some organizations doing great work:
Refugio Animal Cascada in Santiago, Chile rehabilitates animals who have been “directly or indirectly impacted by humans.” Their mission is: “We rehabilitate to release, we educate to protect.” Read more here.
Foster Parrots in Rhode Island is a rescue center for abused, neglected, and unwanted exotic birds. Jane Goodall, a Foster Parrots supporter, wrote this: “For me, the sight of a parrot living alone, living in a cage, deprived of flight, miserably bored, breaks my heart. And the parrot’s too, perhaps.”
Avian Haven in Freedom is “Maine's trusted wildlife rehabilitation center dedicated to injured, sick, and orphaned wild birds from the northeast and across the Atlantic Flyway.” “Founded on the belief that every bird deserves a second chance, we provide expert veterinary care and compassionate rehabilitation in our state-of-the-art facility in rural Maine.”
Chloe Hope, who may quite possibly be part bird, is a phenomenal writer who could be the love child of Mary Oliver and Robert Macfarlane. Chloe is a death doula and also volunteers at an animal rescue, Folly Wildlife Rescue Trust, in England. Her writings are astonishingly gorgeous and heartbreaking in the most beautiful way possible. She carefully digs into her soul and shares her thoughts about how life is woven into death and into our fellow bird beings. Death & Birds is the name of her Substack. You won’t be disappointed.
“I Am a Bird” was recorded many years ago at Frog Hollow Studio. Thank you to Jud Caswell for the addition of the beautiful guitar part during the instrumental and to April Reed-Cox for the quivering of the cello like the quivering of wings.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully forgive myself for not taking action to rescue the bird behind curtains. Writing the song and sharing the story has helped, and maybe someone will learn from my mistake.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and read. As always, please feel free to share.